That’s it.
You’ve found the one.
You’ve got butterflies in your belly,
Your heart beats louder every time you see them.
You’re texting them nonstop – ‘Hi’ in the morning and ‘sweet dreams’ every night.
You feel bad when you don’t see them and feel awesome whenever they text.
But does that mean that this person is right for you?
How can you be sure that they won’t just up and leave?
Here’s what the best relationship experts in the world have to say about it.
The 10 things you need to check to be sure the person you’re dating is actually THE ONE.

1. Check if you trust them

If your relationship has no secrets and you’re able to completely trust your partner, you may have found the One.
As you spend time with them, your brain produces more and more Oxytocin, the trust hormone. Which is known to make you a lot more empathetic towards your partner. And that is crucial to find and keep the One.
Research even shows that high levels of Oxytocin in new couples showed that they laughed more, and those with the highest levels were still together 6 months later!

2. Check if you talk to each other

This one seems obvious but you’d be surprised by how rarely couples actually sit down and talk without looking at their phone.
If you’re in a relationship with the One, there’s no watching-TV-over-your-shoulder or browsing Instagram in the middle of a conversation.
You’ll both be fully involved and respect what the other person has to say.
In fact, research shows that couples who spend 5 more hours talking every week, versus normal couples, are much happier as a result!
The One doesn't walk away from conversations

3. Check if you have rituals with them

Rituals could be giving gifts, having inside jokes or a date night every Friday. The One respects those and sticks to them.
Research by the Penn State University shows that gestures of kindness, like a hug or a kiss, are more effective at communicating love than words.
They’re a type of love language and significantly improves the quality of relationships. It’s how you can find the One person that fits your life perfectly.
The One is always doing little things for you

4. Make sure your relationship is boring

That’s right!
You don’t need to constantly be on top of each other or travel to 5 different countries every year to keep your relationship alive. Not to mention that it’s nearly impossible to make travel plans during this Covid-19 pandemic anyway!
Research done by Harvard Medical School shows that relationships that are happy and long-lasting, start with a rollercoaster of emotions but eventually the brain chemical levels come back to normal.
This might be your biggest and most obvious clue to find the One. This makes you calm and comfortable with each other and makes your relationship less stressful.
A movie and pizza are as good as trip to Bali

5. Check if you have the magic ratio of 5:1

Who would have thought that maths could help you find the One?
Even though fights are normal in relationships, what makes the difference between couples that last and the ones that don’t – is what you do after the fight.
Research by relationship psychologist Dr. John Gottman shows that to have successful happier long-term relationships, you need to have at least 5 pleasant interactions after one fight. The magic ratio of 5:1.
If your partner doesn’t stop at bringing you flowers and cooking for you, to make you feel better after a tough discussion – you may have found the One.
The One might fight with you but makes up for it in more than one way

6. Make sure you fight often

And this isn’t a warning sign – turns out small fights are actually great for your relationship!
When you’ve found the One you’re not afraid of conflict because you’re confident that they aren’t going anywhere.
So when you argue about your partner not making enough time for you, it doesn’t escalate into a shouting match. Instead, it forces you to solve problems together and build a better relationship.
Research even shows that couples who avoided arguments were less happy in their relationships and had a higher chance of breaking up versus those who argued.
So it might be a good idea to look at your relationship and see if there were some fights that you didn’t bother to have. Because if there were, you might have to look further to find the right One.
The One won't walk away from a fight

7. Check if you still have friends

Being in a relationship takes up so much time that most people tend to ignore their friends.
But if you’re able to spend time with your friends and still have a great relationship with your partner, you may be dating the One.
Because your friends give you a support circle beyond your relationship. And that means you have more people to talk to when you want to make important decisions and you’re generally happier!
Research shows that having friends releases the trust hormone oxytocin in your body which is awesome for your relationship.

8. Check if you have hobbies together

Don’t worry, you’re not expected to join Zumba classes just because your partner is going through a fitness phase.
But according to experts, it’s great to have hobbies that you can both share. They could be cooking, taking evening walks, or maybe even something a little more risky like horse-riding together!
This way you’re more like friends. And research shows that couples who considered their partner to be their best friend were much happier than those who saw each other as just romantic partners.

9. Check if they’re your parents’ favourite

The One must have a good relationship with your family and friends. What your family thinks of your partner has a direct effect on your relationship, do don’t neglect it!
Research shows that if your family isn’t sure of your partner – you could start second-guessing your choice too. This could end up in a lack of commitment and ruin your relationship!

10. Check if they’re your #1 cheerleader

The One will always be the loudest in the room when you finally get that promotion you’ve been wanting for so long.
They’ll pop the champagne and throw a party to celebrate your wins and you’ll do the same for them.
Psychological research shows that couples who celebrate each other’s wins and give active responses like “Congratulations! You deserve it!” report higher levels of relationship satisfaction than couples that are more passive and say things like “Oh, that’s nice” when they hear good news from each other.

Bottom line is…

If you’re in a relationship with someone who checks all of these boxes, you may have found the One. And should hold on to them!
Who knows…maybe one day you’ll both say “I do” and have your own version of happily ever after!

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